Teaching An Old Chicken New Tricks

You have heard the saying you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, well we all know it is not true. You can in fact teach an old dog new tricks and you can teach an old chicken new tricks, too. Not those weird tricks you see at carnivals in small towns where the chicken can do math. Who needs a chicken that can do arithmetic? No, real tricks like jump for the Doritos. Now I am telling you, you have not seen a chicken get air like Michael Jordan until you have baited them with Doritos. I know what you are thinking, how did the revelation of chickens love for the tasty, nacho cheese chips come to light?

Well, it all started one peaceful, warm summer evening when the whole family was outside enjoying the balmy night. We were in our lounge chairs bored out of our minds getting eaten alive by the mosquitoes eating you guessed it Doritos. Well, that sparked the interest of the Girls. Now, I read somewhere that chickens would eat mosquitoes, but I can attest that the Girls have not made a dent in the mosquito population in my backyard. In fact, my Girls refuse to eat anything that is alive like a worm, bug or mosquito. So if you are considering chickens for the pest control benefits forget about it.

So, we have determined that the Girls don’t like normal chicken fare like bugs, but who would have thought they would like Doritos? So, I am in my lounge chair lounging, yelling at the kids and stuffing my face with Doritos and Twinkie jumps up in my lap. This in itself is not out of the ordinary. She is quite the snuggle birdie. But then she went after my Doritos! She snatched my chip right out of my hand. Now, they are chickens but they are not uncivilized. They don’t just normally take food from Momma’s hand well, not Momma’s food. Oh, but they could not resist the Doritos. Soon the whole flock was gathered around me clamoring for a spot hoping to get a chip. And that is when the idea came to us, chicken competition.

We decided survival of the fittest would rule, so we held up the orange triangle that held such power over the flock. We lifted it about 2 feet over their heads in an attempt to taunt them. Just to let them know how was in charge you know. And then it happened, to my amazement Robin cleared the 2 feet and nabbed her a chip. That was when we became fascinated with the chip jump. Robin is the reigning champ and no we don’t have the official measurement of her jump. But she usually comes out of the mix with the Dorito. And no, they won’t jump for a regular potato chip. We have tried various snacks to see which their favorite is and Doritos win hands down. And yes, we have way too much time on our hands.

PETA disclaimer: No chickens were harmed in the amusing of ourselves; however some humans have come out with some nasty scratches.

The Girls

Feathers of Fury

If you know Addy, then you know that kicking her butt is not that hard to do. She is a gentle person, an old soul who does not agree with violence. She is a peace keeper and so she opts for peaceful protest over violence. But get your butt kicked by a 5 pound chicken? Come on Addy!

We have a strange array of pets here at the Ray household. Currently we have 2 dogs, 6 chickens and 1 duck. All of the animals coexist peacefully for the most part but there was that one incident. The one we like to laugh about at dinner. The incident we use to keep Addy in check when she starts talking teenage to us. The day Addy got her butt kicked by KiKi the chicken.

Now, in Addy’s defense KiKi is one tough bird. She can hold her own against just about any animal in the house. Feathers of fury are what she is when she is on the offense. A blur of black and white with feathers floating peacefully to the ground after the mayhem is over. Most of the household animals have learned to not make KiKi upset. Blue and Petey keep a respectful distance from her. The other Girls let her pick the best scraps and the best roosting spot. But Addy was just a bit confused about who was the boss.

Chickens, like dogs can smell the weakness in a human, and they smell Addy’s pacifist nature a mile away. So of course they have to exploit the weakness and KiKi is the master. She has made Addy her personal servant. Addy hand feeds KiKi, lets her sit in the chair with her, paints the birds toenails and of course is there for affection whenever KiKi demands. Oh and KiKi demands!

One seemingly normal evening, KiKi was just sitting on Addy’s lap like any other summer evening and then, out of nowhere came feathers of fury. KiKi climbed up Addy like a tree inflicting damage everywhere she touched. She pecked and scratched and Lord only knows what else she did to poor Addy. I think she even pooped on her. And then as suddenly as the attack began it ended. It ended with that stark contrast of floating feathers as opposed to feathers of fury. And poor Addy just sat there dazed and confused with little spots of blood on her arms. And KiKi just sat there demanding in her chicken way that Addy continue giving her a back rub.


For those of you concerned about Addy, she is fine and has no permanent damage from the attack except for some emotional scars. KiKi is still her boss and Addy is at the beck and call of the bird. Everyone seems to know their place. To date, we have not had a repeat butt whipping, but if Addy crosses the line KiKi is ready.