Mutiny by the Girls

So, it is snowy here in the Midwest.  We have had about 2 steady weeks where the ground has been covered with the powdery, white stuff.  The kids have been in heaven.  The dogs like to frolic and play  but it is short lived.  The Girls, well for some reason they seem to think that I am to blame for the cold and snow.  For the most part, they have hung out under our deck where there is no snow and we have spread straw for them to borough down in.  When we go to shut the coop at night, we get the typical clacking and clucking of them expressing their distaste at our choice of weather conditions.  I guess they thought they were going to live in Florida, I don't really know.  But for the past few days, they have actually been storming my deck door demanding access to the house!  I guess the word has spread that we have heating inside our home and they just don't feel they should have to settle for heat lamps and straw.  They might be chickens (and one duck that thinks she is a chicken), but they are not uncivilized.  So, while I am working away at the kitchen table I start hearing the faint taps at the glass door.  Then the taps increase in number and sound.  Before long, this is what I am faced with at my door.

Now how do you say no to those faces??  I think the Girls want a heated coop next year.

Adopt a Pet  You never know what you will find!! 

Petey Goes Hunting

Petey, our 2 year old beagle mix qualifies as one of the laziest dogs in the world. This dog can seriously sleep through us making her do doggy sit ups. You have to love how seriously she takes being lazy. My girl is committed.


So even though she is a “hunting” dog and my husband does hunt, he has never taken Petey with him when he goes into the woods. She really enjoys her air conditioning way too much to go out into the hot, bug infested forest at the crack of dawn to do work. But what happened the other night really got our hopes up that she would soon be a fine companion for my husband on his excursions.

We were all sitting on the couch eating snacks (chocolate covered raisins to be exact) when we saw an amazing site. Petey stood by the couch and began tracking a scent! Then she locked on to the scent and located her prey. It was beautiful to watch; her nose close to the ground and those long, hound dog ears hanging down. It took us all a moment to fully appreciate what was going on.

Then, Petey had her prey pinned down. She was at the edge of the couch with her nose shoved as far under the couch as it could possibly fit. She was whining and barking and wiggling her behind trying to dig under the couch. My first thought was, “Oh Lord, we have mice”. So with a certain dread I had my daughter lift the couch up so the dog could go under and get that filthy rodent that I was sure had invaded my home. Up went the couch, under went the dog, and down the hatch went a chocolate covered raisin. Unfortunately for my husband, chocolate covered raisins are not native to Missouri. I guess he still needs a hunting companion.

Adopt a Shelter Pet

Fat Doggie

So, I have been racking my brain wondering how my Beagle mix got so darn fat.  She is one hefty little hound dog.  We have stopped feeding her table scraps, and I also stopped free feeding the dogs so I know she is not getting the food from me.  I realize she is still sneaking eggs out of the coop, but what are you going to do about that?  It is too cold to go out there more than a couple of times a day to get the few eggs the Girls are laying.  Anyway, that is good protein right?  Anyway, I think my daughter has pin pointed the source of her added calories.  She is getting on the table and eating any food the kids leave behind!  Bad Dog.  Here is the photographic evidence.

I did not realize that Beagles could climb.  Also, this is when she started the behavior, she is not this skinny at the current time.

Adopt a Shelter Pet

The Hawk

The other night we got a phone call from our neighbor telling us there was a hawk in the tree out back.  So, we get Blue and Petey and sent them outside to do their job and chase the hawk away.  Well, we went out and looked at this hawk and I have to tell you that this thing was so big that it made Petey look skinny.  So naturally we were concerned for the Girls.  This hawk could have taken one of them with little or no effort.  So, in his infinite wisdom my husband breaks out the pellet gun and starts taking pot shots.  (no windows or neighborhood kids were shot.)  One shot hit the hawk in the tail and the hawk just moved his feathers.  Holy Cow!  This was one tough bird.  Then my husband landed a good shot right between the wings and the hawk soared away.  Why do I think this won't be the last time we see this hawk?

Petey the attack Beagle

The Laziest Hound in the World

I should not be surprised by now at the extent to which a hound dog will go to be the laziest possible creature it can be. But, I stand in amazement at the lengths to which our Beagle mix Petey will go to achieve pure lazy nirvana. I am shaking my head just thinking about her antics now.

Petey has brought taking a nap to a whole new level of seriousness. My girl can go from 50 miles per hour (speeds this fast usually involve food) to comatose in mere nanoseconds. And when I say comatose, I mean there is a pulse but no other bodily functions. You can lift her ears, blow in her face, make her do doggy sit ups and she will snore away not even changing her facial expression. In this state of slumber the only thing that can arouse Petey is the sound of the refrigerator door opening. Boing, up she goes as soon as she hears the familiar creak. I know the question you are asking yourself is do they ever open that door just to see the dog jump up? Of course the answer is yes, are you kidding? That is pure, clean, wholesome family entertainment right there.

My favorite part about Petey’s laziness is how she will maximize her comfort right before she goes comatose. This means she will find the softest spot in the house available to rest her sweet head before she passes out. Her favorite place to sleep is the bed, but I do try to maintain some semblance of civilization and limit her to the living room during normal waking hours. That means you should not sit on our couch unless you want dog hair on your clothes. Now, in the late evening around the time my favorite Bravo Housewives shows are on I myself like to lie on my couch and relax. No problem for Petey, she just plops herself on the softest thing available; my belly.

As if having an overweight Beagle resting on my overweight mid-section is not awkward enough, what happened the other night takes lazy to a whole new level. While watching my favorite shows with my lovely dog on my gut, I felt a wet, warm sensation. I looked at Petey with a curious expression wondering what the cause of the sensation could be. She just looked back into my eyes with a deer in the headlights kind of stare and then it hit me. That little brat had peed on me! Yes, urinated all over my belly. Now really, how lazy do you have to be to not get up to go pee? Does anyone know how to cath a dog?

Teaching An Old Chicken New Tricks

You have heard the saying you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, well we all know it is not true. You can in fact teach an old dog new tricks and you can teach an old chicken new tricks, too. Not those weird tricks you see at carnivals in small towns where the chicken can do math. Who needs a chicken that can do arithmetic? No, real tricks like jump for the Doritos. Now I am telling you, you have not seen a chicken get air like Michael Jordan until you have baited them with Doritos. I know what you are thinking, how did the revelation of chickens love for the tasty, nacho cheese chips come to light?

Well, it all started one peaceful, warm summer evening when the whole family was outside enjoying the balmy night. We were in our lounge chairs bored out of our minds getting eaten alive by the mosquitoes eating you guessed it Doritos. Well, that sparked the interest of the Girls. Now, I read somewhere that chickens would eat mosquitoes, but I can attest that the Girls have not made a dent in the mosquito population in my backyard. In fact, my Girls refuse to eat anything that is alive like a worm, bug or mosquito. So if you are considering chickens for the pest control benefits forget about it.

So, we have determined that the Girls don’t like normal chicken fare like bugs, but who would have thought they would like Doritos? So, I am in my lounge chair lounging, yelling at the kids and stuffing my face with Doritos and Twinkie jumps up in my lap. This in itself is not out of the ordinary. She is quite the snuggle birdie. But then she went after my Doritos! She snatched my chip right out of my hand. Now, they are chickens but they are not uncivilized. They don’t just normally take food from Momma’s hand well, not Momma’s food. Oh, but they could not resist the Doritos. Soon the whole flock was gathered around me clamoring for a spot hoping to get a chip. And that is when the idea came to us, chicken competition.

We decided survival of the fittest would rule, so we held up the orange triangle that held such power over the flock. We lifted it about 2 feet over their heads in an attempt to taunt them. Just to let them know how was in charge you know. And then it happened, to my amazement Robin cleared the 2 feet and nabbed her a chip. That was when we became fascinated with the chip jump. Robin is the reigning champ and no we don’t have the official measurement of her jump. But she usually comes out of the mix with the Dorito. And no, they won’t jump for a regular potato chip. We have tried various snacks to see which their favorite is and Doritos win hands down. And yes, we have way too much time on our hands.

PETA disclaimer: No chickens were harmed in the amusing of ourselves; however some humans have come out with some nasty scratches.

The Girls

Feathers of Fury

If you know Addy, then you know that kicking her butt is not that hard to do. She is a gentle person, an old soul who does not agree with violence. She is a peace keeper and so she opts for peaceful protest over violence. But get your butt kicked by a 5 pound chicken? Come on Addy!

We have a strange array of pets here at the Ray household. Currently we have 2 dogs, 6 chickens and 1 duck. All of the animals coexist peacefully for the most part but there was that one incident. The one we like to laugh about at dinner. The incident we use to keep Addy in check when she starts talking teenage to us. The day Addy got her butt kicked by KiKi the chicken.

Now, in Addy’s defense KiKi is one tough bird. She can hold her own against just about any animal in the house. Feathers of fury are what she is when she is on the offense. A blur of black and white with feathers floating peacefully to the ground after the mayhem is over. Most of the household animals have learned to not make KiKi upset. Blue and Petey keep a respectful distance from her. The other Girls let her pick the best scraps and the best roosting spot. But Addy was just a bit confused about who was the boss.

Chickens, like dogs can smell the weakness in a human, and they smell Addy’s pacifist nature a mile away. So of course they have to exploit the weakness and KiKi is the master. She has made Addy her personal servant. Addy hand feeds KiKi, lets her sit in the chair with her, paints the birds toenails and of course is there for affection whenever KiKi demands. Oh and KiKi demands!

One seemingly normal evening, KiKi was just sitting on Addy’s lap like any other summer evening and then, out of nowhere came feathers of fury. KiKi climbed up Addy like a tree inflicting damage everywhere she touched. She pecked and scratched and Lord only knows what else she did to poor Addy. I think she even pooped on her. And then as suddenly as the attack began it ended. It ended with that stark contrast of floating feathers as opposed to feathers of fury. And poor Addy just sat there dazed and confused with little spots of blood on her arms. And KiKi just sat there demanding in her chicken way that Addy continue giving her a back rub.


For those of you concerned about Addy, she is fine and has no permanent damage from the attack except for some emotional scars. KiKi is still her boss and Addy is at the beck and call of the bird. Everyone seems to know their place. To date, we have not had a repeat butt whipping, but if Addy crosses the line KiKi is ready.